Fiction: Eli and Abel

With a final thrust, he released shots of white fluid of ecstasy.

Room was dimly light just enough to see the outline of their faces.

Both grasping for their breath, Eli rested his head on Abel’s chest. Their hearts that were pounding by a fast beat had slowly calmed and they caught their breath.

Abel was playing fondly with his lover’s hair. Eli took a deep breath and asked, “Is Lisa picking you up at the airport tomorrow?”

“Yes, she said the kids might come along. I said there’s no need.”

Eli stared at their shoes lying around the floor. They were all over the place with no pair beside one another. He inhaled.

“Does she know?”

“All she knows is that I’m with my best man.”

“I guess that’s a bit accurate.”

They smiled and they embraced each other more tightly.

The AC humming was the only sound that filled the air.

“Are you happy with these? Is this how far that we can go?”

“I have obligations.”

Eli sighed then said, “Read to me… like you used to.”

He grabbed his eyeglass and a notebook on the bedside table.

He opened his mouth and took in air.

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot…
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind…
Each pray'r accepted, and each….

Eli lifted his head and reached for his lips. He kissed it slowly as if he had it all for his own. His eyes were shut tightly, holding back his tears.

Eli let go of his lips and whispered to his ear as he laid flat on top of Abel. He said,

    No, fly me, fly me, far as pole from pole

    Rise Alps between us… and whole oceans roll

    Ah, come not, write not, think not once of me…

    Nor share one pang of all I felt for thee…

 Eli had let his tears fall on a pillow drenched with sweat.

Petrichor

It has already been two years since I met Joel. Time as we know changes things and in two years a lot can happen with people.

People change on their own phase. We reach goals and start new one. We create then destroy. Inside of our flesh is a universe where we reconcile disarrays in our lives. And at times, even we don't realize how much we have changed in such a short time.



Lately, we have a lot of disagreements and emotional outbursts that we try to reconcile. And it made me wonder at times why we're having these arguments frequently now after we've already been with each other for two years. I've realized that that was exactly the reason: Time. You are no longer the person I've known two years ago. You've changed.

Somehow as a relationship lasts, complacency surfaces. The feeling of being at ease with someone so familiar makes people overlook changes that happen with the same person they love. As time moves on and these new things start to pile, you realize that you don't know the person you've been with for so long and you yearn to find that same guy you've first met. And that is where problems start.

People change. You've changed and I must also know that so did I. We must learn to accept those changes and we must work harder with more patience so we can make this relationship lasts. I will regret losing you not because we've already been together for 2 years but because we could grow for the better in years to come.

Every time we reconcile our disagreements, it is like the sweet scent a storm leaves on dry earth that makes the ground fertile for life to grow. After every rain in our days, we grow together yet I must remember we also grow as individuals.


Happy 2nd Anniversary.

Niig

Napapagod ba ang alon sa paghampas sa dalampasigan?

Paulit ulit, at hindi tumitigil

Hinagod ng marahan

At isasagad matapos

Kung minsa’y mabagal

Kung minsa’y nakahihingal

Hihimurin ang buhangin

At yayakapin

Mayroong matitirang ilang puting bula

Marahil sa paghampas ay tila pagbayo

At pagkadyot

Nakikipagniig

Nilalabasan

Hindi na

Found this great song in youtube...
along with this poem from the past. This was dedicated to L and J



Hindi na....

Hindi na kita iniisip bawat minuto
Hindi na ko na tinitingnan ang Friendster mo twing mag bubukas ako ng net
Hindi na kita tinetext
Hindi na pumapasok ang pangalan mo sa isip ko kapag nanonood ako ng Romance

Hindi na.

Tapos na...

Tapos na yung scrapbook natin na sinimulan natin dalawa pero tinapos kong mag isa
Tapos na rin ako sa pagliligpit ng mga pictures natin
Tapos na rin akong mag delete ng pictures natin sa cellphone ko
Tapos na yung RPG Game na niregalo mo sakin kahit hindi ko gusto pinilit kong laruin

Tapos na.

Wala na...

Wala ng nag-gu-good night sa ken
Wala na ring nagsasabi na hindi pantay ang tenga ko
Wala ng sumisigaw sakin sa telepono para gumising ako ng maaga
Wala ng ooder ng Burger Steak na double rice pag pumunta ako ng Jollibee

Wala na.

Ikaw ang Mundo. Ikaw ang Araw
Ikaw ang Umaga at ang Gabi
Ikaw ang Hangin sa lilim ng Puno ng Sumpaan
Ikaw ang Liwanag. Ikaw ang Dilim
Ikaw ang Luha at ang Ngiti

Ikaw...
Pero

Hindi na
Tapos na
Wala na

Dalawang bagay na lang.

Sana...
Sana...

Hindi na kita isipin bago matulog
Hindi na kita hanapin sa paggising

Let the words bleed out from this soul again

The whisper of a gentle breeze from a fan in a hot summer day is heard from a corner of this room. I am untangling the thoughts that bind me restless. Question of why is piling over the questions of how.
This existence is like a dying incandescent bulb in the middle of a stark black night. A drop of hope is spilt on all things rhetoric. The cycle of life becomes life itself and the man who was once a boy is caving in for all the things he would like to undo. Perhaps the boy knew more than the man.

As I wish my soul goodnight I asked of how this soul should be in the morning. But the question of why be there when the sun greet this concrete world is keeping me from sleeping.

The innocence of youth, the idealism that once have given one a reason to move forward is now left far from the path towards conformity. Somehow getting somewhere is not so far from going nowhere. Is this really the dream I had?

Tears that warm my cheek and the short breaths diminish this man yet a boy is wishing to play with sand and water to build his castle on the beach again. The man told the boy that the castle will be washed away by waves and the boy replied, “It will forever be in my heart”. “Why are you crying?” asked the boy. “Coz you are a dead” said the man “and that castle is now a made of concrete in the midst of a city”.

He wept and the boy smiled. Coz he remembered him one more time.

Never Quit

Never quit.

That is one lesson I’ve learned in my life. And being able to learn it was one hell of a task.

Things would always screw up and you are supposed to deal with it. Not always fix it, but deal with it.

Before going to college in UP, I took a stroll with my mom inside the campus. While walking with her, I promised that one day I’ll graduate with the Highest Honors. Magna cum laude was the dream. Being 16 back then, I never could have imagined what could hit me.

My dad decided to not work anymore for no particular reason.

My mom’s company where she worked for almost 10 years closed down.

They decided they don’t want to be together anymore.

My mom and my sisters were evicted from our apartment we were renting for 10 years.

I am struggling with college. We had no money and I am studying thanks to debts.

It tore me apart. I was 16 back then and I was torn to pieces. Shredded

I remember the coming to my professors begging if I can submit a hand written paper coz I don’t have money for computer renting or printing. I tried to avoid meeting my landlord as much as possible. I was buried in debts. My friend had always been there for me. God in particular was the only thing I had left with me.  I remember buying dinner for P5 and hoping something comes up the next day coz there won’t be anything left for any meal. I ate the most memorable meal in my life that day: half a cup of rice worth P4 that comes with Tinola soup that I’ve asked from the cafeteria for free, 1 pack of crispy Patata worth P1 and a lot of tap water. And thru all those times, God never left me.

                At any rate, I could’ve quit. I could’ve done what my dad did and go back to my province. I could’ve said enough. I could’ve ended everything back then. But there was just something in me that said I can make it. I can get out of that hell hole. But I knew I needed to compromise and let go some of my dreams, some pieces of my soul.

                I started taking in all the jobs I can get a hold of: English Tutor, Physics Tutor, Math Tutor for Korean, Japanese and Rich Filipino Kids, Speech Choir Trainer, Chamber Theater Director-trainer, Book lay out editor, Entrepreneur, Architectural CAD operator, Portrait Artist, part-time  Industrial Factory designer, and finally a call boy in a company called Accenture. I became what the wind asked me to be. What came at hand is the job that needs to be finished. From being a 200lbs kid after HS graduation, I went home to my mom after 6 mos weighing 161lbs. My mom was in tears when she saw me. I was teary eyed too coz I understood why. 

                Life was hard, no excruciating. But I still am here, I can breathe, I can move. So I will make means for me to live.

                Now I am 2 years delayed for graduation but that didn’t discourage me. In my whole stay in UP, I am perhaps the only student in the college who had inspired numerous students here and abroad that they can do anything if they put their hearts to it, made a living out of selling chocolates and charcoal sketches, was an unknown lay-out artist for an AIM journal, was part of a design team for a 200M pesos factory in Subic Bay, was in the design team for the landscaping of Alabang Town Center, was able to design an oven for drying painted handle rods for LV bags, and so much more. 

I lost my pride in all those jobs. I succumb to so many people in my life young, old and stupid people. But I gained something so much more, wisdom and courage as they say it. Not because I was perfect or a genius or ambitious, but simply because I didn’t quit. I am who I am because I never quit.

And now in my last 3 semesters in college, I will raise the bar because I don’t quit. Not till there is breathe in me.

                Because quitters are not losers… they’re dead.

               

Eksena: "Beyond"

Opening (after production house credits)

Frame1:
in black and white
[camera focused on the eyes of a guy in white t-shirt. The guy must be "moreno" with expressive eyes (preferably hazel).] (frame will stay for just .5 of a second

music1:
[the digital sound of suddenly appearing things. This sound is like a microphone static only shorter and this is the sound before it reach the annoying high pitch. {Obviously, I don't really know what that sound is hahahahaha}]

[change frame]

frame 2
[zoom on one eye<.5 of a second>]
music 1


[change frame]

frame 3
[frame 3. frame is the bust of the guy. The background is a white door. The camera must contain that there is a door]
music 1

[change frame]

frame 4:
[Guy looking straight into the camera.] "What if the world disappears outside this door?"